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eternalb00ty said: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Srsly tho like WOW

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fakedick:

Hey, if you accidentally call a guy “daddy” in conversation, just save yourself by adding “-o” to the end and slick your hair back like a 1950’s greaser. And throw on your sick-ass leather jacket

Your thirst is hidden and now you’re the coolest dude in school

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roseisreturning:

mermaids don’t have thigh gaps but they can still lure men to their deaths

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catholicnun:

Sidechick jokes r kinda funny but it’s like so sad and mean why would u cheat
:( I’m so sad

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watermellyn:

look at this dog baby

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sarakobus:

Had this cutie at work tonight. He just learned how to pick up his ears 😍

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beerito:

follow for more complaining

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swagtron4000:

sorry sir, we don’t have the facilities for a cat scan, but we can certainly get you a lab report

swagtron4000:

sorry sir, we don’t have the facilities for a cat scan, but we can certainly get you a lab report